Hey there, welcome to another episode of NeurOrdinary! Today, we’re diving into a question I hear all the time: How do you recharge after a meltdown? Whether it’s your child’s or, let’s be honest, your own, meltdowns can leave you feeling utterly drained. But recovery is just as crucial as surviving the meltdown itself.
In this episode, I talk about five practical strategies to reset and recover—offering a mix of grounding techniques, sensory recovery, and micro moments to rebuild resilience.
From the five-four-three-two-one method that engages your senses, to replenishing that depleted energy with everyday actions, I've got you covered. We explore how reflection over rumination empowers learning, not self-blame. Because let's face it, every meltdown is an opportunity to discover and do better next time, not a failure.
I also share personal stories and tips from other parents I've coached, revealing that those micro moments of self-care aren’t just beneficial—they’re essential. And hey, if you’ve ever thought taking time for yourself is indulgence, think again! Self-care is family care because you can't pour from an empty cup.
Don’t forget to grab my free Thrive in Five SOS toolkit from the link in the show notes. It's packed with grounding exercises, sensory recovery tips, and an exclusive meltdown recovery guide. Whether you have five minutes or an entire afternoon, there’s something in there for everyone.
So tune in as we build resilience one tiny step at a time. You've got this, and I'm here cheering you on every meltdown of the way! Keep it spicy until next week!
* Please note: names used in this podcast may have been changed to protect the identity of my coaching clients and their children.
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Resources Mentioned In This Episode
- Get your free Thrive in 5! SOS Toolkit here!
Transcript
Hi there, and welcome to another episode of NeurOrdinary! I’m Karen Kossow, your self-care and resilience coach, and today, we’re diving into a question I get asked all the time: “What’s the best way to recharge after a meltdown—whether it’s your child’s, yours, or, let’s be honest, both?”
If you’re tuning in, you’ve probably had one of those days where the intensity of a meltdown leaves you emotionally drained and physically exhausted. Whether it’s your child navigating sensory overload or you hitting your breaking point, meltdowns take a toll. And let’s face it, recovering from them is just as important as surviving them.
In this episode, we’re going to explore how to recharge after a meltdown. I’ll share five practical strategies you can use to reset and recover, along with a healthy dose of encouragement to remind you that it’s okay to take care of yourself first. By the end of our time together, I hope you’ll walk away with tools to help you navigate these tough moments and the confidence to embrace self-care without guilt.
Let me share a quick personal moment to set the stage. I remember a very specific day we had a few years ago, my child had a massive meltdown right before we were supposed to leave for an appointment. By the time it was over, we were both in tears, running late, and my stress level was through the roof. I spent the rest of the day feeling frazzled and on edge. That night, as I sat on the couch with the untouched cup of tea I brewed 13 hours earlier, I realized I didn’t have a plan for recharging. I just kept running on empty, hoping for the next moment of calm to come to me. Spoiler alert: that’s not how it works.
What I learned that day, and what I’ll share with you today, is that recovery is intentional. Whether it’s a two-minute pause or a full evening reset, the steps you take after a meltdown matter. Let’s dive in.
Step One: Ground Yourself First
The first step after any meltdown—yours or your child’s—is to ground yourself. Meltdowns are overwhelming for everyone involved, and your nervous system needs time to calm down before you can focus on anything else.
Start with a grounding exercise that works for you. One technique I recommend is the “5-4-3-2-1 method.” Look around the room and name:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
For example, if you’re sitting at your kitchen table after a meltdown, you might notice the pattern of the wood grain, feel the cool surface under your hands, and hear the faint hum of the refrigerator. These small observations pull you back into the present moment and help regulate your nervous system.
Why It Works: Grounding shifts your focus away from the chaos and brings you back to a state of calm. It’s an essential first step before tackling anything else.
If you feel too upset to focus on grounding, start small. Even just placing your feet flat on the ground, closing your eyes, and taking three deep breaths can make a difference.
Grounding isn’t about erasing the stress; it’s about giving your body and mind the chance to reset and begin the recovery process.
Prioritize Sensory Recovery
After a meltdown, your sensory system—and your child’s—can feel overstimulated. Prioritizing sensory recovery can help both of you return to balance.
Think about what soothes your senses. For your child, this might mean wrapping them in a weighted blanket, dimming the lights, or playing calming music. For you, it might look like stepping outside for fresh air, soaking your hands in warm water, or diffusing a relaxing essential oil.
One mom I worked with kept a “sensory reset kit” for herself and her child. It included noise-canceling headphones, a lavender-scented stress ball, and a small bottle of bubbles. She told me, “It’s amazing how something so simple can stop the spiral of overstimulation for both of us.”
Why It Works: Sensory recovery helps your nervous system process and release the tension built up during a meltdown.
If you’re thinking “I don’t have time to focus on sensory needs after a meltdown,” start by keeping it simple. Even one minute of engaging with something soothing—like holding a warm mug or lying under a soft blanket—can help.
Remember, addressing sensory needs isn’t just for your child. You deserve the same care and consideration.
Reflect, Don’t Ruminate
After the storm has passed, it’s natural to replay the meltdown in your mind. But there’s a fine line between reflecting to learn and ruminating in a way that drains you further.
Reflection involves asking gentle, open-ended questions like, “What triggered this meltdown?” or, “What might help next time?” It’s about understanding, not blaming yourself or anyone else.
For instance, one dad I coached realized through reflection that his child’s meltdowns often happened right before dinner. By shifting the dinner routine slightly earlier and adding a quiet activity beforehand, he was able to prevent some of the stress that led to meltdowns.
Why It Works: Reflection helps you identify patterns and solutions, empowering you to handle future challenges with more confidence.
If you, like me, worry that you overanalyze everything, set a time limit for reflection. Spend 5-10 minutes thinking about what happened, jot down any insights, and then move on. Reflection isn’t about finding the perfect solution. It’s about learning and growing, one step at a time.
Replenish Your Energy
After a meltdown, your energy reserves are likely depleted. Replenishing that energy is crucial—not just for you, but for your ability to show up for your family.
Replenishment can look different for everyone. For some, it’s as simple as drinking a glass of water and having a healthy snack. For others, it’s stepping outside for a brisk walk or calling a friend to talk.
Here’s where the Thrive in 5 SOS Toolkit comes in. It’s packed with quick, effective strategies to help you recharge emotionally and physically, including a bonus meltdown recovery guide. Whether you have five minutes or a whole afternoon, the toolkit has something for you.
Why It Works: Taking intentional steps to refill your energy tank prevents burnout and helps you recover faster.
Challenge: “I feel guilty taking time for myself.”
Tip: Reframe self-care as family care. When you’re recharged, you’re better equipped to support your loved ones…Replenishing your energy isn’t indulgent—it’s essential.
Build Resilience Through Micro-Moments
Finally, one of the most impactful ways to recharge after a meltdown—whether it’s yours or your child’s—is to incorporate resilience-building practices into your daily life. These micro-moments of self-care are like planting tiny seeds that, over time, grow into a strong foundation of emotional stability. Think of them as your personal “reset button,” ready to help you recover more quickly when life throws challenges your way.
So, what are micro-moments? They’re brief, intentional actions that help ground you, recharge your energy, or shift your perspective. They don’t require hours of free time or a complete lifestyle overhaul—just a minute here or there in the pockets of your day.
For example, one mom I worked with started practicing gratitude for just one minute each morning while waiting for her coffee to brew. She’d mentally list three things she appreciated, no matter how small. Some days it was as simple as “the coffee smells amazing,” “my kiddo slept a little better last night,” or “the sun is shining today.” It wasn’t about finding grand gestures but about shifting her focus to the positives, even in the midst of chaos. Over time, that one-minute practice became her anchor—a small ritual that helped her face the day with a bit more clarity and calm.
Another dad I coached used a quick breathing exercise in the car after dropping his kids off at school. He’d sit for one minute, inhale deeply for four seconds, hold for four, and exhale for six. This simple practice helped him transition from the stress of the morning routine to the rest of his day. “It’s amazing how much difference a minute can make,” he said. “I feel like I’m giving myself permission to pause instead of just running on fumes.”
Why Micro-Moments Work
Resilience isn’t about avoiding hard days—it’s about learning how to bounce back from them. Micro-moments of self-care equip you with the tools to do just that. Think of them like drops in a bucket. On their own, each drop may feel small, but as you practice consistently, those drops accumulate into a reservoir of strength and stability.
Micro-moments also help retrain your brain. By intentionally creating small moments of calm or positivity, you’re teaching your brain to notice and respond to these opportunities more naturally. Over time, you may find that you’re better able to manage tough moments without feeling as overwhelmed.
How to Start
If you’re not sure where to begin, the key is to start small and keep it simple. Choose one practice that feels manageable and commit to doing it consistently. For instance:
Gratitude Journaling: Before bed, jot down one positive thing that happened during the day, no matter how minor. Maybe it’s a kind word from a stranger, a moment of quiet, or your child trying something new.
Mindful Breathing: Set an alarm on your phone to remind you to take a one-minute Reset Breath during the day. Pair it with an existing habit, like brushing your teeth or waiting for water to boil.
Quick Wins: Celebrate one thing you did well today. It could be as simple as staying calm during a tough moment or making it through the day. Write it down, say it aloud, or reflect on it quietly.
And here’s the beauty of micro-moments: they don’t have to look the same every day. One day, it might be stepping outside for fresh air. Another, it could be savoring a cup of tea or even listening to your favorite song for two minutes. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress.
Give Yourself Permission to Grow
It’s easy to think, “What’s the point? One minute won’t change anything.” But here’s the truth: resilience is built one small step at a time. Each time you take a moment for yourself—no matter how brief—you’re reinforcing the idea that you matter and that your well-being is worth the effort.
These micro-moments are also an opportunity to model resilience for your family. When your kids see you pausing to breathe, expressing gratitude, or finding joy in small moments, you’re teaching them that it’s okay to care for themselves, too.
So, start small. Choose one practice and commit to it for a week. Notice how it feels to carve out even the tiniest space for yourself in the midst of a busy day. Over time, these small moments will add up, creating a ripple effect that strengthens your resilience and brings more calm into your life. You’ve got this.
Conclusion
Let’s recap the five steps to recharging after a meltdown:
- Ground Yourself First
When emotions are high, grounding yourself is the first step to finding balance again. Techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 method help you reconnect with the present moment by engaging your senses. Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It’s simple, but it works like a reset button for your brain, pulling you out of the whirlwind of stress. - Prioritize Sensory Recovery
Your nervous system takes a hit during a meltdown, whether it’s your child’s or your own. Sensory recovery is about soothing your body and mind. Wrap yourself in a cozy (or weighted) blanket, turn on calming music, or step outside for a breath of fresh air. Even something as small as holding a warm cup of tea can be incredibly grounding. These moments aren’t just about comfort; they’re about giving your body what it needs to reset and recharge. - Reflect, Don’t Ruminate
After the storm passes, it’s easy to get stuck replaying what went wrong or second-guessing your actions. But reflection is about learning, not self-blame. Ask yourself questions like, “What triggered this meltdown?” or “What helped us move through it?” This approach allows you to grow from the experience rather than being weighed down by it. Remember, every hard moment is a chance to discover more and do better next time—not a reflection of failure. - Replenish Your Energy
Recovery isn’t just emotional—it’s physical too. Take intentional actions to refuel yourself. That could mean hydrating, eating something nourishing, or even sitting in silence for a few moments. Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate. Sometimes, just stepping outside for three deep breaths or lying down for five minutes is enough to start rebuilding your energy reserves. - Build Resilience Through Micro-Moments
Resilience isn’t built in big leaps; it’s built in tiny, consistent steps. These “micro-moments” of self-care—like practicing gratitude, doing a one-minute Reset Breath, or jotting down a positive thought—add up over time. Each small action strengthens your ability to navigate challenges and bounce back faster.
Parenting through meltdowns is some of the hardest work there is. It’s emotionally draining, physically exhausting, and often isolating. But I want you to remember something: you’re not alone. You’re navigating uncharted waters, and you’re doing the best you can.
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to need a break. And it’s absolutely okay to prioritize yourself. Because here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup. When you take care of yourself, you’re not just helping yourself—you’re creating the emotional and physical capacity to support your family in the ways they need most.
If today’s episode resonated with you, I want to invite you to grab my Thrive in 5: SOS Toolkit. It’s a free resource packed with quick, effective strategies to help you recharge, even on your hardest days. Inside, you’ll find tools like grounding exercises, sensory recovery tips, and a bonus meltdown recovery guide designed specifically for moments like these. You can download it using the link in the show notes, and start building your resilience one step at a time.
Thank you for spending this time with me today. I know how precious your time is, and I hope this episode gave you practical tools and encouragement to navigate those hard days with more grace and confidence.
Until next week, remember: you’re stronger than you think, and you’re doing an amazing job. Every meltdown you navigate, every small act of self-care, and every moment of connection with your family is a testament to your resilience. Keep showing up for yourself and your family, and never forget—you’ve got this.
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