Welcome to the NeurOrdinary podcast, where we dive deep into the extraordinary journey of parenting neurodiverse kids.
I'm your host, Karen Kossow. As a mother of two autistic kids and a self-care coach for autism parents, I'm here to share stories, insights, and practical advice to help you navigate the complexities of raising an autistic child.
In this week's episode, titled "Can an Autism Parent Coach Help Dads?", we'll focus on an important but often overlooked aspect of autism parenting: the role of dads.
The autism parenting world has predominantly been shaped by moms, leaving many dads feeling pushed to the side or left out.
But today, we're shifting the spotlight and creating a space for dads to share their unique struggles and experiences.
We'll explore how dads can prioritize their well-being, navigate their own neurodivergent tendencies, and build a successful relationship with their child(ren).
And, we'll discuss the importance of self-care, and personal growth, and how they can lead to transformational changes in the lives of dads.
From reducing stress and improving relationships with oneself and their partner to finding a stronger sense of purpose, the benefits of engaging in self-care coaching are profound…especially for dads!
Join us on NeurOrdinary as we delve into the world of autism parenting from a dad's perspective, and discover how personal growth and well-being can lead to a fulfilling and thriving family life.
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Transcript:
Hey, I’m Karen. And I’m a mom to two amazingly neurospicy autistic kiddos. I don’t have the time or tech skills to make a podcast intro, so let’s just get into it…THIS is the Neurordinary Podcast…..
As a self-care coach for parents of autistic kids, most of the clients I work with are other moms. Mothers are statistically more likely to be the caregivers in any given family, more likely to be single parents, and more likely to be responsible for the day-to-day operations of the family.
Usually, they’re the ones keeping the therapy schedule, coordinating appointments, advocating for their child’s needs, and managing all the paperwork…so much paperwork.
This stereotype of “moms do it all” has a ton of negative consequences for moms, dads, and the kids who sometimes get caught in the middle. Frequently, Autism Dads get pushed to the side, sometimes gently, sometimes forcefully, sometimes because they just wander over to the sidelines because they don’t know where to go or what to do…
Their partner seems to be handling everything, they may or may not have had the tools they needed to build a successful relationship with their child. They may even have their own diagnosed or undiagnosed neurodivergent tendencies that make parenting a challenge for them.
In many ways, the autism parenting world has been set up by moms, and it excludes the experience of most fathers…and that isn’t ok! While I do agree moms benefit from a place where we can share our struggles in a safe place with other moms who “get it,” we need to make room at the table for dads, too.
One question I get asked alllllll the time as an autism parent coach is, "Do you help dads, too?" The answer is a resounding yes! However, there's an important aspect to consider: It has to be their idea.
Their Willingness to Change is Essential
As a self-care coach, I firmly believe that change and growth must come from within. It is crucial for dads to willingly seek support and be open to self-reflection. So, I won't work with dads, or anyone else, if they’re dragged to me by their partners.
Working with a self-care coach can help autism dads realize the importance of prioritizing their own well-being. It can make them better fathers and partners. By understanding their own needs and nurturing their own mental and emotional health, they can show up more fully for their children and be the role models their kids deserve.
So, why is willingness so important? Well, when someone is willing to take ownership of their own personal growth and well-being, they are more likely to fully engage in the process and see meaningful results. It's about embracing the idea that self-care is not selfish but rather a necessary foundation for being the best parent possible.
As a coach, I can only get you the results you’re willing to work for yourself! If you don’t realize you need support, if you don’t want to make changes, there isn’t anything I can do to help. Working with you just wastes both our time and your money.
Secondly, I have to ensure the Focus is on Self-Care, Not Custody or Divorce Issues
As a self-care coach, my expertise lies in helping parents of autistic children connect with themselves and their own needs. Therefore, I do not get involved in custody or divorce issues.
I have enough stress in my own life, thank you very much! If you are separated or considering it, as a self-care coach it isn’t my area of expertise to help you as a couple, navigate this transition or decision…even if the choice is on the table due to the challenges of parenting your autistic kiddo.
It's important to understand that my role is to empower parents to find strength, energy, and resilience to meet their child's needs. By focusing on self-care and personal growth, we can enhance the well-being of both parents and their children.
While custody and divorce issues are undoubtedly significant and deserve attention, my focus is on providing support, guidance, and tools for self-care. It's about creating a positive, nurturing environment where parents can thrive as individuals and as a team. Then, in turn, they’re better equipped to support their children and their partnership.
The third reason it has to be a dad’s own idea is that I’m looking for Voluntary Commitment and Willingness to Work in the clients I serve.
I am here to help anyone who is voluntarily willing to put in the work with me. The journey toward self-care and personal growth requires dedication, effort, and a genuine desire for change.
Whether it's moms or dads, the key is a genuine commitment to improving oneself and creating a positive impact on their lives and the lives of their children.
Taking the step to work with a self-care coach could be one of the best decisions you ever make! It does require commitment and effort, but the rewards are incredible. Imagine how it would feel to be a better father and role model for your child!
I am here to support and guide dads on their self-care journey. However, it's essential that they willingly seek support and actively participate in their own growth. I don't get involved in custody or divorce issues, as my focus is on helping parents connect with themselves and their own needs.
When dads are willing to take that step and engage in the self-care process, they can experience transformational changes in their lives. They can find greater fulfillment, reduced stress, improved relationships, and a stronger sense of purpose.
Thank you for joining me today. Remember, self-care knows no gender boundaries. Every parent deserves the opportunity to prioritize their well-being and become the best version of themselves for their children.
Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a comment or review letting me know what you thought about today’s episode. And whatever you do, keep it spicy!
Meet your self-care coach!
