Welcome to this special episode of NeurOrdinary, where I'm excited to share my favorite tips and tricks on how you can craft autism-friendly holiday traditions. As a mom to two wonderful neurospicy autistic kiddos, I understand the mix of excitement and stress that the holidays can bring, especially for families like ours.
In today's episode, I'll share practical tips for making holiday traditions sensory-friendly. From sensory-friendly ornament-making sessions to themed sensory bins and cozy storytelling, I've got innovative ideas to add joy and autism-friendly connection into the season.
Throughout this episode, I stress the importance of self-care for us parents, and I reveal how meeting our kids' needs allows us more time to care for ourselves, reducing overall parenting stress.
I'll also share advice on adapting existing traditions to better suit the needs of our autistic children, including embracing cozy movie nights and virtual hangouts for maintaining connection (without the sensory overload). Plus, I'll highlight the significance of fostering family inclusivity and effective communication to create supportive holiday environments for everyone.
Join me as we explore the world of inclusive, joy-filled, and sensory-friendly holiday traditions for families with neurospicy kiddos.
My hope is that, with this heartfelt guidance, you'll feel inspired to celebrate the holidays in a way that nurtures joy, understanding, and love for your entire family. Don't miss out on this insightful episode – and get ready to create meaningful holiday memories with your neurospicy kiddos!
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Resources Mentioned In This Episode
Transcript
Hey, I’m Karen. And I’m a mom to two amazingly neuropsicy autistic kiddos. If you’re an autism parent like me, you know I don’t have the time to make a podcast intro. I also lack the tech skills, so let’s just get into it…this is the NeurOrdinary Podcast!
As we approach the holiday season, I wanted to dedicate this episode to something special that may not on the surface seem like it’s about self-care, but stay with me…and that’s creating autism-friendly holiday traditions. I know this time of year can bring a mix of excitement and stress, especially for our neurospicy kiddos, so let's dive into making the holidays a time of joy and connection for everyone.
Setting the Scene
Let's kick things off by acknowledging the elephant in the room – the holiday season. Ah, the twinkling lights, the scent of pine, and the warmth of traditions. For many families, this is a time of joy and togetherness. But, for some of us autism parents, it might also be accompanied by the concern of extreme sensory overload, a complete lack of sleep, and the challenges of keeping our child's routine intact while managing our family’s expectations.
Amid all the holiday cheer, we have to navigate the season with a mindful awareness of our neurospicy kiddo's sensitivities and the determination to make this season as inclusive and enjoyable as possible for them…all while managing the zillion other things that go into making the winter holiday season and family traditions what we want them to be.
Rethinking Traditions for Sensory Needs
So, let's talk about adapting those cherished family traditions. The key is to make them as sensory-friendly as we can. For instance, if your child is sensitive to bright lights, consider using softer, ambient lighting. Swap out those loud jingle bells for calming music. It's about finding that sweet spot where the holiday magic can unfold without overwhelming our kiddos…and yes, it may mean that some of your favorite traditions might not serve the family you have now and you may have to reconsider what traditions you include in your holiday plans.
It's all about striking that delicate balance, crafting an environment where the enchantment of the holidays can unfold joyfully (and without too many meltdowns) while our kids feel loved, and supported. So, how do we do that?! Glad you asked…
Crafting New Traditions
One way is to get creative with some new traditions. Think about your child's interests and weave them into your holiday plans. If they're fascinated by textures, how about a sensory-friendly ornament-making session? If routine is crucial, plan a 'countdown to the holidays' calendar. It's all about finding activities that resonate with your child and help you create moments of connection.
And maybe this is the year you break free from the conventional and let your child's interests become your guidepost. Here are five ideas to infuse some autism-friendly activities into your festivities…and before you start saying “but Karen, you usually talk about self-care, not parenting advice,” just know that This advice is, in my opinion, self-care for us too…the more we can find a way to meet their needs the more time we’ll have for our own self-care and the less intense parenting we’ll have to do during this season. Sometimes, self-care is all about setting you, and your kiddo, up for success. So let’s dive into those new holiday tradition ideas…
Sensory-Friendly Ornament-Making Session
Embrace the fact that your kiddo wants to touch all the things and do a sensory-friendly ornament or decoration-making extravaganza. Provide various textures, colors, and shapes for your kiddo to craft with. Allow them to explore and create ornaments that tell their unique holiday story, even if it isn’t Pinterest Perfect or the handprint reindeer you were hoping to make.
For older kids who aren’t into handicrafts anymore, make slime, bust out the kinetic sand or putty I know you probably have somewhere in your house, or go online to find recipes for a tactile dough you could make at home. Then just spend some time with them playing and enjoying each other’s company.
Countdown to the Holidays Calendar
For those who find comfort in routine, consider crafting a 'Countdown to the Holidays' calendar. Each day can unveil a small, predictable activity or moment, building anticipation and excitement in a structured way that aligns with your child's need for routine. If you have a dopamine-seeking kiddo you may want to avoid using a candy countdown calendar as, in my experience, I’ve found it to be more of a hassle than a help.
Also, if the concept of counting down to the holiday causes you or your child stress: don’t do it! Same goes for Elf on the Shelf or any of the other “traditional” holiday countdown activities - the key here is finding what works for you and your family.
Themed Sensory Bins
For your younger kiddos, dive into the world of sensory exploration with themed sensory bins. Tailor these bins to align with your child's interests – whether it's a winter wonderland filled with faux snow or a treasure hunt with hidden holiday surprises. These bins provide a safe space for sensory play and discovery.
Storytelling by the Fire
Create a cozy, calming atmosphere with a 'Storytelling by the Fire' tradition. Gather around a fireplace or create a simulated one with LED candles or one of the many “fireplace” videos available on Netflix, Amazon Prime, or YouTube. Get some blankets and cushions, and maybe brew up some cocoa. Share holiday stories that resonate with your child's interests.
Or, skip the holiday books and reread their favorite stories instead. Sometimes the novelty of the season is just too much, and kids appreciate the familiarity of what they are used to, with a holiday twist.
Parent-Child Self-Care Day
Introduce a tradition centered around self-care for both you and your child. Designate a day for relaxation and rejuvenation, and incorporate activities that bring joy and peace to both of you. Whether it's a spa day, a nature walk, or a movie marathon, prioritize moments of connection, well-being, peace, and relaxation. Remember, that as their parent, you are showing your children how to prioritize their own self-care during the sometimes stressful winter holidays, lead them by example, and make some memories with them in the process. Plus, who doesn’t need more self-care time during the busy holiday season?!
These five innovative traditions not only celebrate the uniqueness of your child and their needs, but they also create lasting memories filled with joy, connection, and understanding. But what do you do when there’s a tradition that has been part of your holiday celebrations for years, and it just isn’t a good fit for your kiddo’s needs? So glad you asked!
Embracing Adaptations
Don't be afraid to adapt your existing holiday traditions! Maybe the idea of a hectic family gathering is a bit much for your child. How about a cozy movie night with holiday classics? Or perhaps a virtual visit with family and friends to maintain that connection without the sensory overload. It's about molding traditions to fit your family's unique needs as they currently are...it doesn’t mean things will be the way they are forever! But for this year, maybe we practice our flexibility as parents and embrace what our kids really need. And supporting my kids to do and be their best is always a great way to practice my own self-care because it reduces the challenges they have and the number of challenges I have to support them through…
So let's dive deeper into tweaking and tailoring traditions to fit your family so you can meet your kiddos where they are right now. So you can share holiday moments that feel just right for both of you.
Cozy Movie Night
If the big family gathering feels like too much, swap it for a cozy movie night. Set up a snug spot with blankets, pillows, and your child's favorite holiday movies. It's a peaceful way to celebrate without the extra noise. If special drinks and snacks will make the event a success, go for it! Don’t forget to include their favorite fidget or sensory toy…maybe bring the mini trampoline into the living room, or embrace the fact that you’ll watch “Elf” 47 times this year because the snowball throwing scene is a modern cinematic marvel. Do what you can to set them up for success and enjoy your time together.
Virtual Hangouts
Use video calls to stay connected. Instead of in-person visits, have a virtual get-together with family and friends. Your child gets to enjoy the warmth of connection without the sensory overwhelm. While this can be a hard one for some family members to accept, going virtual can be a game changer in how our kiddos relate to their larger, extended family. It also enables them to retreat to a safe and comfortable place if they get overwhelmed. And you can get some rest by not having to travel (or host!) an event that comes with a high likelihood that you’ll have to do some intensive parenting.
Personal Holiday Spot
Create a calm, festive nook that suits your child. Toss all the squishmallows in a corner, throw up some twinkle lights, and add subtle holiday touches to make it feel special. This spot can be a retreat when the holiday hustle and bustle get to be a bit too much for your kiddo. It lets them enjoy the specialness of the holiday season. And you can enjoy it too…after they go to sleep.
Quiet Themed Time
If you have kiddos with a younger developmental age, infuse holiday vibes into quiet moments. Set aside time for activities that calm your child. Whether it's reading a holiday book, doing gentle crafts, or just enjoying some quiet time, this adapts the celebration to your child's pace and developmental stage. This is the first year that I am parenting a teen through the holidays, and his needs have changed a lot over the past year. It’s important to know when to step back and stop encouraging your kiddos to participate in activities that they feel are too “young” for them. My advice is to still offer them the chance, but just don’t be too upset if they don’t take you up on it.
And I do still strongly suggest, no matter your child’s chronological or developmental age, that you anchor in some quiet time during their days and holiday season…just know that as they age that may look like giving them more time to play Valorant with their online friends as opposed to reading an extra bedtime story or making cinnamon scented salt dough ornaments.
Family Rituals, Your Way
Make traditions work for your family. Adjust mealtime routines, use sensory-friendly decorations, or introduce rituals that bring comfort. The aim is to create a holiday atmosphere that everyone can enjoy together…even if it seems like you’re apart.
A great example is that I have one kiddo who hates watching movies. We still do movie night with special treats, and that kiddo enjoys the cocoa or popcorn I make, but they go to their room to do other things instead of watching the movie with the rest of us. And that’s ok!
Remember, your traditions can be as flexible as you need them to be. One of my favorite mentors has a saying: “Take the nuts and leave the shells.” Meaning, do what works and leave the rest of it behind! Adapting things lets you celebrate the season in a way that's comfy, joyful, and positive for all of you. And it stops you from taking on the stress of trying to make things “perfect” and that my lovely listener, is a basic building block of self-care!
Foster Family Inclusivity
If you are attending gatherings, either outside your home or within it, communicate your child's needs and preferences to family and friends. Encourage understanding and offer suggestions on how to create an environment that's supportive for everyone. Inclusivity makes the holiday season brighter and better, for all. Showing your children how to talk about their own needs positively and constructively does several things…
- It shows them you understand them and their needs.
- It demonstrates that you support them and their needs.
- It gives them a framework to know that their needs are valid.
- It gives them permission to do the same and speak up for what they need when they need it.
- It allows all of you to (hopefully) enjoy the season in a more supported, relaxed, and enjoyable way.
So, go ahead, have a chat with Aunt Sally and explain that little Johnnie isn’t going to eat her jello mold, and bring those dino-nuggies because you know that’s a safe food your child will happily eat. And remind everyone, including yourself, that it’s ok! I'll drop some links in the show notes to help you have these sometimes challenging conversations with family.
Conclusion
As we wrap up, remember that the heart of the holidays is connection. Whether through adapted traditions, new experiences, or inclusive celebrations, the goal is to create moments of joy, understanding, and love. Embrace the uniqueness of your family, and let this holiday season be a time of connection, sensory-friendly festivities, and self-care, for all of you!
And there you have it, a guide to creating autism-friendly holiday traditions. Wishing you all a wonderful, sensory-friendly, and joy-filled holiday season.
Thanks for listening! New episodes of the NeurOrdinary Podcast drop every Thursday. Don’t forget to like and subscribe, and if you’re feeling generous leave a comment or review to let me know what you thought about today’s episode. If you know an autism parent who would benefit from hearing what we’ve talked about today, please share this episode with them. And whatever you do, keep it spicy!
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