In this week's episode of NeurOrdinary, we delved into three important topics for autism parents: resilience, self-care, and personal growth. As a neurospicy autism parent myself, I totally get the challenges we face, and that's exactly why we're exploring these crucial areas together.
First off, we’ll talk all about resilience, which is our ability to bounce back from tough times. I’ll share the importance of finding a supportive community and embracing imperfection, both for ourselves and our children. It's all about facing the challenges head-on and creating a space where everyone can thrive and grow.
Next, we’ll tackle the idea of self-care.
As autism parents, it's easy to put ourselves last on the list, but we learned that self-care isn't a luxury – it's a necessity.
We’ll discuss setting boundaries, finding activities that recharge us, and address the guilt that sometimes comes with taking time for ourselves.
And finally, we explore the incredible opportunity for personal growth that autism parenting offers. I cover the importance of self-reflection, self-compassion, and how our children's diagnoses can lead to a deeper understanding of our own needs and challenges.
Overall, this episode is all about reminding autism parents that we're not alone! I also provide practical tips and insights to help you navigate your journey with grace all while you create a beautiful, authentic life for yourself and your children.
So don't forget to tune in every Thursday for new episodes…if you loved what you heard, drop a comment or review to let me know your thoughts. And if you know someone who could benefit from these discussions, be sure to share this episode with them. Thanks for listening, and remember: It may not always be easy, but it doesn’t have to be so hard! You're not alone in this.
Prefer an audio-only format?! Tune in on Spotify or your favorite podcasting platform.
Don't see your preferred podcast program listed? Contact me here to suggest where you'd like to listen to NeurOrdinary.
Resources Mentioned In This Episode
These are some of my favorite self-care resources…
Transcript
Hey, I’m Karen. And I’m a mom to two amazingly neuropsicy autistic kiddos. If you’re an autism parent like me, you know I don’t have the time to make a podcast intro. I also lack the tech skills, so let’s just get into it…this is the NeurOrdinary Podcast!
Today we’re talking about three of my favorite topics: resilience, self-care, and personal growth. I understand that being an autism parent can be both a beautiful and challenging journey. We’re on a unique path as parents - one for which there often isn’t a clear set guide, and I'm here to help you navigate it so that you can better understand yourself, and your child, while also being the parent (and person!) you want to be.
How do we do that?! By building up our resilience, embracing nurturing self-care practices, and fostering a personal growth mindset. So, let's dive right in.
Embrace Resilience
So, what's resilience, and how can we embrace it? Resilience is our ability to adapt and bounce back from adversity. It's our inner strength that helps us withstand the storms that may arise in our lives.
But how do we cultivate resilience as autism parents?
First, it's essential to acknowledge and embrace the fact that there will be challenging days. You will have bad days. Your child will have bad days - it’s part of being human! That isn’t to minimize the fact that our bad days can be, to put it delicately, really, really effing hard. You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed or unsure of how to handle certain situations. These moments are part of the journey, and it's okay to seek help and support when needed. But the most important thing is we have to find a healthy way for us to bounce back from those hard days. That’s what resilience is all about!
A huge part of resilience for me has been finding a supportive community. Now, granted, I had to create it for myself, but you know, be the change you want to see in the world, and all that. When you connect with other autism parents, share your experiences, and learn from one another, it lets you know that you aren’t alone! Autism parenting can be so incredibly lonely, and I don’t hear that being talked about enough. Being part of a supportive network can significantly bolster your resilience, increase your ability to handle all that life throws at you, and will help you and your child in the long run.
In our Out of Your Ordinary community, we embrace resilience not by avoiding challenges but by facing them head-on. We recognize that our children are unique, and their journeys may not always align with our plans. And while those of us who like to tightly control things may struggle with that as parents, discovering how to break free of our control issues can actually be a great thing for us…
When we release our need for perfection and control, we open the door to authenticity. We create an environment where everyone can thrive, learn, and grow in their own way…including us. We also relieve ourselves of the constant burden of trying to control every outcome, and in that space, we have the opportunity to create something beautiful.
When we let go of the idea that we can control everything, we open the door to resilience, not just for us but for our family too. Our kids learn that making mistakes is okay, and that perfection isn't the goal. Instead, they discover that life is all about self-discovery, with every tiny step leading to personal growth.
As autism parents, we're often navigating uncharted waters. Our kids' unique needs and neurodiversity make each day an adventure. Embracing imperfection means embracing that uncertainty and realizing that growth often comes from the unexpected twists and turns.
When we embrace imperfection, we're actually celebrating our children's vibrant uniqueness. We let them express themselves authentically, and we're there to support them on their journey.
Embracing resilience as an autism parent means accepting the challenges, rolling with the changes, finding a supportive community, and allowing yourself and your child to embrace authenticity. It's about letting go of the need for control, finding a way to overcome the big feelings on the hard days, and welcoming the sometimes wild journey you’re on with open arms.
Prioritizing Self-Care
One of the most common complaints I hear from autism parents is that they are exhausted. When I ask what they do for self-care, usually I hear back that self-care is a luxury they can't afford. With the daily responsibilities and oftentimes overwhelming challenges, it's easy to put ourselves last on the list. And we all know what happens when we do that: burnout and a one-way ticket to Martyr Mom (or Dad!) Island.
So let me be clear: self-care isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. As an autism parent, you give so much of yourself to support your child. It's crucial to remember that you deserve care and attention too.
Self-care isn't about grand gestures or expensive spa days. It's about incorporating small, meaningful practices into your daily life that help empty out your stress bucket and remind you that you too are a person worth caring for. To keep with the liquid metaphors, it's about recognizing that you can't pour from an empty cup, and taking time for yourself is a vital part of being the best parent you can be.
In this segment, we're going to explore the practical side of self-care for autism parents. We'll discuss easy ways to incorporate self-care into your daily routine and address the guilt that often accompanies it.
First and foremost, self-care means setting boundaries. It's okay to say "no" when you need a break. It's important to recognize your limits and not overcommit. By setting boundaries, you create space for self-care without feeling overwhelmed by obligations.
It's also essential to find activities that recharge you. Whether it's reading a book, taking a short walk, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing a hobby, these moments of self-care can make a world of difference.
I understand that guilt often accompanies self-care for autism parents. You may feel like you should be with your child every moment or that you're being selfish for taking time for yourself. And I’ll say it: sometimes you will “pay a price” for taking time away for yourself. Your child may struggle with the change in routine or caregiver, and may possibly have meltdowns or in some other way make you feel like you’re being “punished” for taking care of yourself. I can promise you that it is worth it, in the long run, to get your kiddo used to you having time away from them. Remember, taking care of yourself allows you to be a better caregiver to your child.
When you practice self-care, you're modeling self-compassion for your child. You're teaching them that taking care of one's well-being is essential, and it's a valuable lesson for them to carry into their own lives.
So, please, please, please, don't let the fear or guilt hold you back from self-care. It's a crucial part of your journey as an autism parent, and it empowers you to navigate the challenges you face with grace and resilience. I’ll go ahead and drop some of my favorite self-care resources in the show notes below.
Fostering Personal Growth
This is another topic I don’t hear talked about very often…the journey of autism parenting offers us an incredible opportunity for personal growth. Every day, we learn more about ourselves, our children, and the world around us. It's a path of continuous discovery, and I’d argue it’s essential to embrace this process.
Personal growth doesn't always happen in grand leaps; it's often the result of small, consistent steps. Embrace the idea that you're always evolving and learning. Your experiences, both the joys and the challenges, contribute to your personal growth.
One way to foster personal growth is through self-reflection. Take time to pause and assess your experiences, emotions, and reactions. By understanding yourself better, you can make intentional choices that align with your values and goals.
And let's not forget the importance of self-compassion in fostering personal growth. Be kind to yourself during the challenging moments, and recognize that you're doing the best you can. Self-compassion is the foundation upon which personal growth can flourish.
So many of us also discover through our children’s diagnoses that we too are neurodiverse in some way, and it allows us to see our past and current experiences through a different lens. I can say that since my two kiddos have been diagnosed, it has led me to a much deeper level of understanding about my own needs and challenges…but I had to get to - and through - a lot of breaking points first.
I can honestly say that I am a better person for having parented my kids, and I am grateful for all the awareness they have helped create for me. Being their mom has truly been the most transformational thing I have ever done, and I am so grateful for them and all the experiences - yes, even the extraordinarily challenging ones - they have brought into my life. And when you can see your autism parenting journey through this type of lens, I think you too may find a lot of peace and comfort on the other side of it,
Conclusion
As we wrap up this episode, as always, my biggest takeaway for you is that you're not alone on this journey. Embrace resilience, prioritize self-care, find a community to support you, and welcome the personal growth that autism parenting can bring to your life. When you do, you’ll be able to navigate your autism parenting journey with grace and create a beautiful, authentic life for you and your child.
Thanks for listening! New episodes of the NeurOrdinary Podcast drop every Thursday. Don’t forget to like and subscribe, and if you’re feeling generous leave a comment or review to let me know what you thought about today’s episode. If you know an autism parent you would benefit from hearing what we’ve talked about today, please forward this episode to them. And whatever you do, keep it spicy!
Meet your self-care coach!
