As an autism mom, I understand the overwhelming demands and responsibilities that come with loving and caring for a child on the spectrum. It can often feel like a constant juggling act, trying to balance work, home, and the needs of our amazing children.
In this episode, we talk about how I manage my day-to-day life as a business owner, autism mom, wife, and homeschooler.
We’ll explore the importance of open communication and sharing responsibilities with our partners. Having an actively involved partner not only lightens the load but also strengthens the bond between partners, and within the entire family unit. Discover why you need to let your partner do things their way (hint: it’ll really help everyone in the family, trust me)!
We also emphasize the significance of reaching out for support, both from fellow autism parents and from available resources in our communities. We discuss the benefits of therapy services, educational support, and community programs that can greatly assist in managing the challenges of being an autism parent.
Throughout the episode, I provide practical tips and strategies for navigating the daily demands of life as an autism mom.
From setting routines and clear expectations to prioritizing self-care and delegating responsibilities, we’ll explore ways to find balance and maintain our own well-being while caring for our children.
You are not alone in this journey! Together, we can empower each other to embrace the joys and challenges of raising our extraordinary children. Come see how I do it on this episode of NeurOrdinary!
New episodes of NeurOrdinary are released every Thursday…be sure to like, subscribe, and leave a comment or review letting me know what you think. And as always, keep it spicy!
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Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Parent Resource Center: Get The Help Your Autistic Child Needs...For Free!
Why Autism Dads Matter…The Power of Father-Child Relationships in Autism
Navigating the Application Process: Your Step-by-Step Guide to the Katie Beckett Waiver in Idaho *
How to Apply for Children's Developmental Disabilities Services in Idaho: Your 5-Step Guide *
*This article is specific to Idaho but may be helpful no matter what state you live in.
Transcript:
Hey, I’m Karen. And I’m a mom to two amazingly neuropsicy autistic kiddos. If you’re an autism parent like me, you know I don’t have the time to make a podcast intro. I also lack the tech skills, so let’s just get into it…this is the NeurOrdinary Podcast!
Today I want to share with you my personal insights on how I juggle life as an autism mom. We all know being a parent, especially being a mom, is a full-time job, and when you add the unique challenges of raising an autistic kid or two, or three, or more, it can sometimes feel like a juggling act. But fear not, because today, I'm going to share some strategies that have helped me find balance and navigate this beautiful journey. So, let's get started.
My first priority is always making sure my kids’ needs are met, and my second is ensuring I get enough self-care. As an autism mom, it's easy to get lost in the daily demands of what our kids need and forget to take care of ourselves. But let me tell you, self-care is not a luxury; it's essential. By prioritizing self-care, we recharge our physical, emotional, and mental well-being, and it lets us show up as the best version of ourselves for our children. It could be as simple as taking a few moments each day to engage in activities that bring us joy or seeking support from friends and family. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup, so make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine.
A huge way I deal with all the demands that come from being a work-from-home, double-business-owning, homeschooling mom of two autistic kids is delegating responsibility. As moms, we often feel the need to do it all, and it seems like if we don’t do it, no one will. And there have been times in my life where that was true. Certainly, there are certain things only you can do. But we also can get stuck in the mindset that we have to do everything all the time for everyone. But the truth is, we don't have to.
Delegating tasks and responsibilities to others can free up valuable time and energy. It could be asking your spouse or partner to take on specific tasks or involving older children in age-appropriate chores. It could be finding in-home help for your kids. Many states in the US offer resources that will help you access that type of support, I’ll link to an article that may help in the show notes. But one of the biggest things you need to remember is that it's okay to ask for help. Delegating not only lightens your load, but it also teaches valuable life skills to your children and fosters a sense of teamwork within the family.
My next tip is that you don't have to do it all. As an autism mom, it's so easy to fall into the trap of trying to be everything for everyone. Trying to do all the therapies, balance getting your kids the education they need, being a good partner or spouse, and keeping up with the life you had before kids and autism happened. But the truth is, you're only human. It's okay to acknowledge your limits and prioritize what truly matters. It's about letting go of perfectionism and embracing the concept of "good enough." It really is a horseshoe and hand grenades kinda thing..80% of the way will have to be good enough most of the time. Focus on the essentials and let go of unnecessary pressure and guilt. Remember, you’re doing an amazing job, and sometimes, it's better to do a few things well rather than spreading yourself too thin.
This next tip has been hugely important for me, and that’s seeking support from fellow autism parents. There's a unique bond that forms between autism moms. Connecting with others who understand your journey can provide invaluable support and encouragement. Seek out local support groups, online communities, or reach out to other moms at your child's therapy sessions. Sharing experiences, advice, and even just a listening ear can make a world of difference. We can learn, grow, and empower each other, together.
Having a helpful partner is another aspect of my life that greatly contributes to my successfully juggling my life as an autism mom. A supportive and understanding partner can be your rock and a valuable teammate. Full disclosure, he wasn’t always tuned into what was going on and we had to do a lot of work (and a bit of marriage counseling) to get to a place where I felt like he understood the totality of what I had to do so he could take some of it off my plate. I also had to let go of things being done the “right” way (i.e. my way), and embrace the fact that Dad was going to do things a little differently…and that it was ok (and even a good thing) that he did.
If you have a partner in your life, communicate openly about your needs, share responsibilities, and work together as a team. Having a partner who is actively involved in the care and support of your children not only lightens your load but also strengthens your bond as a family...it’s good for the kids to see you acting as a team. If you’re a mom, it’s great for your children to see that mom doesn’t have to be the one to do all the emotional labor (or cleaning) in the family. It’s also good to give your kids the experience of doing things the way another caregiver does them. Plus, when you control all aspects of your family life, you’re denying your partner the joy of fully experiencing their role as a full and equal partner. Remember, you're in this together, and their support is a powerful asset.
We talked about it a bit already, but getting support services for your kids is another important aspect of juggling life as an autism parent. There are various resources available to help support your children's unique needs,and they vary state to state, and even from city to city. It could be therapy services, educational support, or community programs. Take the time to research and advocate for the services that can benefit your children. These services not only provide valuable support but also contribute to their overall growth and development. Remember, you don't have to navigate this journey alone. Utilize the available resources and support systems to ensure your children receive the care they deserve. If you need help knowing what services are available, your pediatrician's office may be able to help, or the clinic that diagnosed your child may be able to offer suggestions on resources.
My last tip is to put in intentional time and effort to ensure your kids feel loved and supported. Not only is this a good thing to do, because, you know, parenting, but as an autism parent, it can greatly reduce negative behaviors and meltdowns. Autistic children, like non-autistic children, thrive in environments filled with love, understanding, and consistency. Take the time to create routines, set clear expectations, and provide a safe and nurturing space for your children. Engage in activities they enjoy and find ways to connect with them on a deeper level, and on their level. Put it on your calendar if you have to - there’s nothing wrong with scheduling quality time! Your intentional efforts to spend positive, intentional time with your kids will foster a loving and supportive environment that can have a significant impact on their well-being and overall behavior. It can be hard to take time to just enjoy being your child’s parent, so make sure you set aside some specific time to do exactly that.
So, there you have it—my insights on how I juggle life as an autism mom.
To recap, we discussed several strategies for juggling life as an autism mom. First, we emphasized the importance of prioritizing self-care. Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it's essential for your well-being and ability to care for your children. Next, we explored the power of delegating responsibility. Don't be afraid to ask for help and involve others in sharing the load. Remember, you don't have to do it all.
We also highlighted the significance of recognizing your limits. Let go of perfectionism and focus on what truly matters. It's okay to prioritize and do things "good enough." Seeking support from fellow autism moms can provide a sense of understanding and connection. Reach out to local communities, support groups, or connect online to share experiences and offer support to one another.
Having a helpful partner can make a significant difference in juggling the responsibilities of raising autistic children. Communicate openly, share responsibilities, and work as a team. Your partner's support and understanding can be an invaluable asset.
Accessing support services for your children is vital. Research available resources, therapy services, educational support, and community programs that can contribute to their growth and development. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and there are resources available to help you and your children thrive…but you might have to do some research to find them.
Lastly, we discussed the importance of intentionally investing time and effort into creating a loving and supportive environment for your children. Establish routines, set clear expectations, and provide a safe space where they can feel loved and understood. Your intentional efforts can help reduce negative behaviors and promote their overall well-being.
Remember, as an autism parent, you are doing an incredible job. Your love, dedication, and willingness to learn and grow make a significant impact on your and your children's lives.
Thanks for listening! New episodes of the NeurOrdinary Podcast drop every Thursday. Don’t forget to like and subscribe, and if you’re feeling generous leave a comment or review to let me know what you thought about today’s episode. And whatever you do, keep it spicy!
Meet your self-care coach!
