Hey there, it's Karen! Welcome to another episode of the NeurOrdinary podcast. If you're anything like me, constantly juggling caregiving and endless appointments, it might feel like finding time for yourself is a mythical creature. But hold on, because I've got some tips for squeezing in a bit of self-care without needing a full day at the spa.
In this episode, I share three strategies to recharge emotionally and three practical self-care techniques you can start using ASAP. We're talking about small but mighty habits: practicing gratitude even on the toughest days, leaning into sensory-based self-care, and leveraging community support for emotional renewal. I'm here to remind you that self-care doesn't have to take a ton of time – sometimes it's as simple as taking a deep breath or enjoying a cup of tea.
Don't worry if you're thinking you can't add another thing to your plate, because I'm sharing ways to make these practices fit right into your busy day. Whether you're setting up a calming corner for a quick reset or stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, every little bit counts. So, let's reclaim those precious moments for yourself and feel empowered to tackle the challenges with a renewed spirit. Remember, even amidst the chaos, you've got the power to recharge. Keep it spicy, and I'll catch you in the next episode!
* Please note: names used in this podcast may have been changed to protect the identity of my coaching clients and their children.
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Resources Mentioned In This Episode
- Join the Self-Care Support Squad Substack! For just $7/month get access to monthly group coaching calls, replays of The Ultimate Autism Parents Self-Care Workshop, and more!
- Become part of the Self-Care Support Squad on Facebook.
Transcript
Hey, I’m Karen. And I’m a mom to two amazingly neurospicy autistic kiddos. If you’re an autism parent like me, you know I don’t have the time to make a podcast intro. I also lack the tech skills, so let’s just get into it…this is the NeurOrdinary Podcast!
Welcome to another episode of NeurOrdinary! I’m Karen Kossow, self-care and resilience coach for neurodivergent and autism parents, here to help you navigate the beautiful, chaotic, and often exhausting world of autism parenting and neurodivergence. If you’re listening today, chances are you’ve felt like time—especially time for yourself—is the rarest luxury of all.
Because let’s be real: when your life revolves around constant caregiving, managing meltdowns, endless appointments, and trying to keep up with daily tasks, finding time to recharge feels impossible. But recharging doesn’t always mean carving out hours. Sometimes, it’s about finding small but impactful ways to replenish your energy and reset your mind.
In this episode, we’re going to explore how to recharge emotionally and practically when time is in short supply. You’ll walk away with three strategies for emotional renewal and three practical self-care techniques you can start using today. By the end of today’s episode, I hope you’ll feel empowered to reclaim even a few moments for yourself without guilt.
Here’s a quick personal story to set the stage. A few years ago, before I discovered how impactful self-care can be, I remember thinking, “How am I supposed to recharge when I can’t even go to the bathroom without these yahoos acting up?” But then I realized, recharging doesn’t have to look like a spa day. It can be as simple as taking one deep breath, enjoying a favorite song, or stepping outside for a minute. That shift in mindset was a game-changer for me, and I hope it will be for you, too.
So, let’s dive in!
Emotional Recharge Strategies
Practice Gratitude in the Moment
Gratitude is one of the most powerful ways to recharge emotionally because it shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right. And here’s the beauty of it: practicing gratitude doesn’t require huge amounts of time, energy, or effort. It’s one of those small but mighty habits that can fit seamlessly into your busy day.
Let’s break it down. Imagine you’re folding a mountain of laundry—a task that’s repetitive, boring, and, let’s face it, never-ending. Instead of letting your mind spiral into frustration about how there’s always more to do, take a moment to think of three things you’re grateful for. Maybe it’s the way your child gave you a spontaneous hug earlier or the fact that you’re folding their favorite shirt that makes them light up every time they wear it. It could even be something as simple as, “This detergent smells great, and it’s making this task a little better.”
You don’t need grand gestures to feel the effects of gratitude. The small stuff—your child’s laughter, a quick text from a friend, or even the luxury of a quiet cup of tea—adds up. The act of pausing to acknowledge these moments starts to rewire your brain. Over time, you’ll find yourself noticing and appreciating more positive things naturally.
But let’s be honest: gratitude can feel like a tall order when you’re in survival mode. When everything feels like it’s going wrong, or the weight of caregiving is crushing, finding something to appreciate might feel impossible. And that’s okay.
If you can’t think of anything to be grateful for, start small. If the idea of naming three things feels overwhelming, start with just one. Maybe it’s the roof over your head, the sound of rain tapping against the window, or even the fact that you managed to get out of bed and face another day. On particularly tough days, your gratitude might be as basic as, “I’m breathing, and I made it to this moment.” That’s still valid. Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is perfect—it’s about finding the tiniest light, even in the darkest moments.
If gratitude feels forced or fake, that’s completely normal. If you’re not used to practicing gratitude, it can feel a little awkward at first, like you’re going through the motions. But here’s the thing: even if it feels unnatural in the beginning, the act of intentionally searching for something good starts to shift your mindset. You don’t have to feel a huge wave of emotion right away for it to work. Stick with it, and over time, you’ll find it feels more genuine.
Finally, make gratitude a habit. The easiest way to incorporate gratitude into your routine is to tie it to something you already do. For instance, you could think of one thing you’re grateful for every time you brush your teeth, wait for your coffee to brew, or sit down for a meal. Another idea is to end your day with gratitude. Before you fall asleep, mentally list three positive things that happened, no matter how small.
If you’re a visual person, consider keeping a gratitude journal on your nightstand or in your kitchen. Write down one to three things every day, even if it’s just a word or phrase. On hard days, you can look back and remind yourself that even in tough times, there were good moments.
Gratitude doesn’t have to be perfect, and it doesn’t have to be profound. It just has to be honest. Whether you’re thankful for a big milestone or something as simple as a warm blanket, every bit of gratitude builds resilience. Over time, you’ll notice those small moments adding up, and the challenges won’t feel quite so heavy.
So, take a deep breath, and think of one thing you’re grateful for right now. Start small, start simple, and start today. You’ll be amazed at how even the tiniest moments of appreciation can shift your perspective and recharge your emotional energy.
Lean into Sensory-Based Self-Care
Sensory-based self-care can be a game-changer when time feels tight. Engaging your senses helps regulate your nervous system and brings you back to the present moment.
Here are a few ideas: Take a moment to run your hands through kinetic sand, soak in a warm bath with your favorite scent, or enjoy the calming sound of rain or ocean waves from a sound app. Even something as simple as holding a cup of warm tea and feeling its heat in your hands can create a moment of calm.
Why it works: Sensory activities help ground you when life feels overwhelming. They’re especially powerful for neurodivergent parents who might struggle with overstimulation or sensory fatigue.
Challenge: “What if my kids want to join in?” Turn it into a shared experience! Play with sensory bins together or enjoy a calming activity like bubble blowing. And when you need solo time, communicate that boundary with kindness: “This is Mommy’s quiet moment, but I’ll play with you after.” It might also help to heave your own set of sensory tools and fidgets - I know both of my kids get frustrated when I’m “borrowing” their fidgets.
Leverage Community Support
Recharging emotionally doesn’t have to be a solo effort. Connecting with a supportive community can lighten the emotional load and provide fresh perspectives.
Consider joining my Self-Care Support Squad on Substack, where you’ll find weekly articles, live coaching calls, and a community of parents who truly get it. Or check out our Facebook group, where we share wins, tips, and encouragement. One parent told me, “I didn’t realize how much I needed this space until I joined. It’s like a breath of fresh air.” Both are free to join, and are a welcoming, friendly, and inclusive space that you can find comfort, reassurance, and support in.
Community helps you feel seen and understood. Knowing you’re not alone can make the hard days feel a little lighter. And the encouragement to keep on going can be enough to help you get over the bog hurdles.
If you’re worried, “I don’t have time to participate actively.” Even reading posts or listening to what others share can be recharging. Engage as much or as little as feels right for you.
Practical Self-Care Techniques
Create a Calming Corner
A calming corner is your own little sanctuary—a dedicated space where you can step away from the chaos and take a moment to breathe, reset, and recharge. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or Pinterest-worthy to work. Think of it as a small corner of peace in the middle of a storm.
Start with the basics: a comfortable chair, a soft blanket, and maybe a few of your favorite books. Add elements that soothe you—a diffuser with a calming scent like lavender, a small lamp with warm lighting, or even a weighted lap pad if that feels comforting. The goal is to create a space that feels safe and inviting, a spot that encourages you to slow down and focus on yourself, even if just for a few minutes.
If you have a busy household, communicate with your family about the purpose of this space. Let them know this is your “quiet spot” for when you need a break. You could even make it a family rule that your calming corner is off-limits unless invited. It’s a way to teach boundaries while modeling the importance of self-care.
Here’s Why It Works…
Having a physical space dedicated to recharging is a powerful form of self-care. It’s not just about having a place to sit; it’s about sending yourself a message that your needs matter. When you see that space, it’s a tangible reminder to pause and take a moment for yourself. Plus, having a consistent spot for self-care can make it easier to establish the habit of regularly recharging, even when life feels overwhelming.
If you're saying “My house is too chaotic for a calming corner.” I hear this a lot, and trust me, I get it. If a permanent calming corner doesn’t feel possible, keep it portable! A small basket or tote with your essentials can do the trick. Include items like a journal, noise-canceling earbuds, snacks, or a favorite fidget toy. This way, your calming corner can move with you—to the bedroom, the porch, or even the car while waiting at pick-up.
For example, one parent I worked with created a “calming kit” that lived on her kitchen counter. Inside were her favorite tea bags, a small notebook for gratitude, and a tiny bottle of lavender oil. Whenever she felt overwhelmed, she’d take a couple of minutes to engage with something from the kit. She told me, “It’s amazing how just opening that little box feels like hitting pause on my day.”
Another parent found her version of a calming corner in the family car. She kept a cozy scarf and a playlist of soothing music in the glove compartment. When things got too hectic, she’d step outside, sit in the car, and take a few moments to reset.
Tips for Making It Work
Start small: Your calming corner doesn’t need to be elaborate. A simple chair in a quiet corner with a favorite blanket can be enough to get started.
Personalize it: Include items that bring you joy or comfort. Maybe it’s a family photo that makes you smile or a favorite book you’ve been meaning to reread.
Keep it flexible: Life changes, and so do your needs. Be open to adjusting your calming corner over time to reflect what helps you most in the moment.
A calming corner isn’t about escaping your responsibilities; it’s about creating a space where you can recharge so you can return to them feeling more centered and capable. Whether it’s a permanent spot in your home or a portable kit you carry with you, having a dedicated place for self-care can make a world of difference. Start small, make it yours, and watch how this simple habit transforms your ability to handle life’s challenges.
Five-Minute Journaling
Journaling doesn’t have to mean filling pages with perfectly written thoughts. Set a timer for five minutes and jot down whatever comes to mind—your feelings, frustrations, or even a to-do list. The act of writing helps you process emotions and clear mental clutter.
Why it works: Journaling creates a sense of control and helps you externalize what’s weighing you down. It’s like a mini therapy session with yourself.
Challenge: “I don’t know what to write.” Start with prompts, like “What’s one thing that went well today?” or “What’s something I’m looking forward to?” It doesn't have to be a BFD (big freaking deal). Start small! You could even use the notes app on your phone if getting a whole new notebook seems too intimidating.
Step Outside for Fresh Air
Never underestimate the power of stepping outside, even for just one minute. The fresh air, natural light, and change of scenery can help reset your mood and energy levels.
I’ve had days where simply standing on my porch and taking three deep breaths made a world of difference. If you have time, take a short walk around the block. If not, just open a window and let the fresh air in.
Challenge: “I don’t feel like I have time.” Solution? Combine this with an existing activity, like walking to the mailbox or letting the dog out. The goal is to make it as easy and seamless as possible.
Conclusion
Let’s recap the six strategies we covered today for recharging when time feels like a luxury:
- Practice Gratitude in the Moment: Shift your focus to the positives, even if they’re small.
- Lean into Sensory-Based Self-Care: Use sensory activities to ground and soothe yourself.
- Leverage Community Support: Connect with others to lighten your emotional load.
- Create a Calming Corner: Set up a space dedicated to recharging.
- Five-Minute Journaling: Clear your mind and process emotions with quick, intentional writing.
- Step Outside for Fresh Air: Refresh your mind and body with a quick change of scenery.
Remember, self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant or time-consuming. It’s about finding small, intentional ways to care for yourself amidst the chaos. You deserve it, and your family benefits from it, too.
If you enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the NeurOrdinary podcast for more tips and insights. And for even deeper support, visit my Substack to join our community. With just $7 a month, you’ll get access to live coaching calls, workshop replays, and more resources to help you thrive.
Thanks for listening! New episodes of the NeurOrdinary Podcast drop every Thursday. Until next week, remember: even in the busiest seasons, you have the power to recharge. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with other autism parents you know who might benefit from these insights. And whatever you do, keep it spicy!
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