The decision about whether to invest time in therapy versus school can be a tough one for parents of autistic children.
Some parents of autistic children choose to homeschool their children and skip traditional schooling entirely. Others opt to send their children to a mainstream school with special education services. Still, some others send them to private or charter schools.
Whichever route you take, the goal is the same: to provide your child with the best opportunity to succeed.
But what happens when your child is "supposed" to be in school but requires private therapies during school hours? What should you do...how do you balance the competing needs for education and therapeutic services?
Is your focus on school or therapy?
This is listed as the #1 question because it should be your number one question. What do you think your child needs help with more? If you think they benefit more from being in the classroom, for whatever reason, maybe it's time to take a break from private therapy if it's interfering with their school time.
Likewise, if your child is struggling with their speech, and the 15 minutes of group therapy they get from the school district per week isn't helping them, perhaps you should prioritize them missing class time to receive private speech therapy.
Know your goals and where your child is at, so you can make an educated decision about what they need most.
Does your child have the ability to learn new skills?
If they don't that's ok, but it does impact your decision on whether you should focus on therapy or school. Sometimes, we need to step back as parents and help our kids build up their lagging social and emotional skills. This may mean that your child has to put therapy before academics.
A friend of mine had a child with severe binocular vision dysfunction. No matter what she or her child's teacher did, there was no way the child was ever going to be physically capable of learning to read until his vision issues were corrected.
The family prioritized therapy over school and delayed teaching the child to read in kinder and first grade. By the time the child was 9, they had completed vision therapy, learned to read, and fallen in love with learning...all without spending years being frustrated and feeling "dumb" because they weren't capable of performing the task their teachers thought they should be ready for.
Sometimes, we must put therapy first.
How flexible is your school?
Some schools have been known to be quite inflexible about letting children leave for private therapies. Yet the in-school services provided may not meet their needs. Plus, not all kids thrive in a school environment.
Knowing how flexible your school district is in allowing your child to miss academic time in favor of pursuing outside therapies is an important factor in determining how you proceed with your therapy vs. schooling plan…if you will constantly be getting pushback from the special education team or your child’s teachers, you may have some big decisions on your hands about how you proceed.
Overall, how is your child doing?
You have to check in with them and know how things are going for them. What do they want to do?
Do they absolutely love their teacher and hate leaving the classroom?
Is there a special therapist they've been seeing every week for years and they get bummed when they have to miss seeing them because of a spelling test?
Does it seem like they are getting enough benefit out of whatever activity they’re doing to warrant continuing with it?
Stay on top of your child’s needs and wants! Understand that you may have to make changes in the middle of a school year as your situation changes and your child naturally develops new skills or masters previously challenging tasks.
Conclusion
In addition to making sure your child has access to the right therapies and interventions, it’s important to keep an open mind and consider all of the options available...
One of the biggest challenges for parents is finding the balance between school and therapy. You have to figure out which will give your child the best chance for success and happiness.
The reality is, you can’t be everywhere at once.
That’s why I’ve dedicated an entire series of articles about the US educational system and how it relates to autistic students, so you can make the best, most informed decision for your child. The last article in the series will be published on June 11, 2023…check back then to get all the information you need to make the best education decisions for your autistic child.
In the meantime, drop a comment below and let me know…are you prioritizing therapy over school or vice versa? I’d love to know what’s working best for them and your family.
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