Parenting an autistic child may not always be easy, but it doesn’t have to be so hard! Raising neurodiverse kids comes with its own unique challenges and joys…but I assure you, there can be joy in the process!
By adopting positive parenting strategies, you can create an environment where your child can thrive and your family can flourish. In this post, we'll explore some effective tips to help you navigate the world of autism with care, compassion, and positivity.
Embrace Unconditional Love and Acceptance, Always
The first step towards positive parenting is to embrace unconditional love and acceptance. Your child's autism does not define them; they are unique and special individuals with their own strengths and abilities.
Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small, and shower them (and yourself!) with love and support every step of the way.
Cultivate Effective Communication, Even if it Looks “Different” From the Norm…
Effective communication plays a vital role in positive parenting. For autistic children who may struggle with verbal communication, explore alternative methods such as sign language, visual aids, or assistive technology. Create a safe space where your child feels comfortable expressing their needs, thoughts, and feelings, and be patient in understanding their unique way of communicating.
An amazing new communication tool called S2C or Spell 2 Communicate has been making a lot of headlines lately. This article explains more about how it’s helping non-speaking autistic children and adults communicate effectively!
Create a Structured Routine…Or Don’t
Many autistic children thrive in structured environments. Establishing a predictable routine can provide a sense of security and stability. Develop a daily schedule that incorporates activities, therapy sessions, playtime, and relaxation. Clear visual cues and timers can help your child understand and anticipate transitions, reducing anxiety and meltdowns.
On the flip side, kiddos with Pathological Demand Avoidance, or PDA, may resist following your routine with every ounce of energy they have. If a routine works for you and your family, give it a go, but realize this suggestion may do more harm than good for your family, depending on your child. Take a look at the list of PDA traits, and if your child seems to fit that profile, tread lightly with implementing a strongly structured routine.
Encourage Independence and Autonomy
Empower your child by encouraging their independence and autonomy. Break tasks into manageable steps and celebrate their accomplishments. Allow them to make choices and decisions whenever possible, fostering their sense of self-confidence and self-reliance.
It can be really easy to adopt the mindset that it’s just easier to do tasks for our children rather than allow them to do things themselves. This may make less work for you when they’re small, but allowing them to do things independently is great for building their confidence and getting you out of the habit of treating them like younger children.
Practice Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement can be a powerful, behavior-shaping behavior. Acknowledge and reward your child's positive actions and efforts. Use praise, tokens, or small incentives to motivate and encourage desired behaviors. By focusing on the positive, you create a nurturing atmosphere where your child can thrive and feel like they are a success.
Much like routines, this one can also “backfire” if you are raising an autistic kiddo with a PDA profile. I'd encourage you to look at this list of suggested resources to find an approach that may work better for you and your PDA child.
Still worth staying positive and supportive no matter what, but a PDA child can often perceive this as being insincere or fake. It can become counterproductive toward strengthening your relationship and helping them succeed,
Foster Sensory-Friendly Environments
Sensory issues and autism go together like peanut butter and jelly! Chances are good, your autistic child has more than a few sensory sensitivities…
When you create a sensory-friendly environment by reducing loud noises, minimizing bright lights, and offering calming spaces, it helps your child feel safe and reduces the chance they’ll have sensory-related challenges. Plus, it shows them that you care enough about their well-being to create a place for them where they feel comfortable.
Provide sensory activities such as soft textures, fidget toys, or weighted blankets that can help your child self-regulate and find comfort. Allow them to choose what they need at any given time. One of the greatest things for me to see as my children have gotten older is how well they’re able to manage their sensory issues independently…and it’s all because they’ve had independent access to the tools they need to manage their sensory issues.
Embrace Uniqueness
One of the first steps in positive parenting is embracing and celebrating the uniqueness of your child. Autism brings forth a beautiful tapestry of strengths, talents, and perspectives.
Take the time to discover and appreciate your child's individuality, and encourage them to explore their passions and interests. And yes, that will probably involve you listening to some lovely soliloquies about the merits of Minecraft, the mating habits of some animal you never knew about, Rubik's Cubes, the latest K-pop band, or whatever their special interest happens to be.
And when you listen intently, you will create an environment that fosters their self-confidence and allows them to shine…all while strengthening the connection you have with them, letting them know that you care about them, and reinforcing the idea that Mom or Dad have their back!
Practice Patience and Understanding
Patience is key in any parenting journey, but it becomes even more crucial when raising an autistic child. Understand that your child may have different communication and sensory processing challenges, which can lead to frustration at times. Be patient and compassionate, and try to view situations from their perspective. This will enable you to respond in a calm and supportive manner, building trust and strengthening your bond.
Celebrate Small Victories
In the journey of parenting an autistic child, it's important to celebrate every milestone, no matter how small. Recognize and acknowledge your child's achievements, whether it's a new skill, improved social interaction, or increased independence.
Celebrating these victories not only boosts their self-esteem but also reinforces positive behaviors and motivates them to continue growing. And as a parent, it’s nice to see them get a win (plus, from a selfish point of view, it also helps me reinforce the idea that I’m doing something right as their parent).
Conclusion
By implementing these positive parenting tips, you can create an environment where your child with autism can thrive, and your family can grow stronger together. Since every child is unique, it's essential to find what works best for your family.
Seek support from autism communities, therapists, coaches (wink, wink), and educators who can provide additional guidance and resources. Together, we can nurture our children's potential, celebrate their achievements, and create a loving and supportive environment where they can truly thrive.
Practicing positive parenting is a great choice for all kids, but it really is ideal for autistic children. Yet, if you aren't prepared to do it properly by protecting your energy and making sure you’re taking care of yourself as a parent, it can become super easy to slip into Martyr Mom (or Dad) mode…
That’s why you have to practice self-care along with positive and gentle parenting!
I know it can be challenging to know where to start, so I created a checklist of my 7 Top Tips for the type of self-care autism parents like us actually need to thrive. Download your free copy by clicking here.
It’ll help you get the self-care you need to become the best parent possible for your child, and the best version of yourself…happy positive parenting!
Meet your self-care coach!
